gulerin said: I was typing a reply to the "you man is so lucky" discussion, but it never came out right. Then it occurred to me. You say a friendship should be able to give the same thing, but without sex. But I've never had a friendship where I felt so close to someone. The only times that happened was with a girlfriend. So I might be looking for something, which a true friend could provide, but I don't know that. And think I need a girlfriend/wife for that. So creepers aside, maybe it's lack of experience?
Well, I said sex…AND unwavering devotion. Love and loyalty are a part of devotion, which is the warmth you’re talking about. I continued to say that extremely few people on the internet actually know me, so they couldn’t know if they want devotion from me or not. People assume they know who I am, imagine what I’d be like, but that’s just fantasy. And I’m more than likely not that fantasy.
Anonymous said: Bellechere
Oh my god Belle and I are BrOTP all the way! Love that woman like crazy, literally the Carol to my Jess
I don’t know what’s going on here, but I approve! :D
I miss you! <3
dysfuncreal said: When a caller into the SG radio show was adamant about dating a Suicidegirl he asked: “I want to date a suicidegirl, how do I date a suicidegirl?” She replied: “Bro, it’s not like winning a contest.”
For real. Treat them like a person.
Lovely, smart, geeky girls are not the unicorns many guys seem to think we are. We’re out there, in numbers, and it’s a very real possibility to date us. It’s just, you see, we’re smart, so we can see through BS pretty easily, and if you’re objectifying or over-romanticizing us, then you’re already putting yourself at a powerful disadvantage.
stabithastabs said: If you are planning gambit’s jacket semi soon, Brit and panda and I are doing genderbent X-men for Saturday of bcc! No pressure though.
PERFECT. I was planning on wearing Gambit on Saturday anyway! :D
Anonymous said: Maybe they say they wish they had your unwavering devotion? I know that would be way more attractive to me than sex. Yeah I know that's not what they mean. But I know I would mean it like that. But I'm weird I don't even have a body. I'm just a grey circle with shades.
That’s very sweet of you to say. Though I wish I could believe that’s what’s meant, I realistically know otherwise. Especially since most of these men express they have a wife/girlfriend, which makes things SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE for me. They’re not looking for devotion. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’d have to know a person first to want their devotion, and if we haven’t even met once in person I think it’s safe to say you don’t know me. Waaay too many assumptions of my character are made by looking at my pictures…but that’s a topic on its own.
SPOT ON. So well said. Mind if I repost? I feel like more of my gender need to read this. I get that, in some cases, they’re trying to say it as a compliment, that they’re lucky to have found someone that shares their interests. But too many mean it more like “You’re hot and love nerdy stuff, that lucky SOB.” And that really DOES relegate you to a trophy and that’s awful.Of course! Feel free to reblog. I was going to get into the implications of ‘trophy’, too, but I didn’t want to rant too much.
I haven’t for over half a year, now. In fact, I’ve been 100% single this whole time.
I wasn’t going to say anything - because it was private, and I was in a great deal of pain, and I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it - but now I’ve come to the point where I’m getting pretty annoyed by people saying ‘your husband is so lucky’.
In fact, even when married, I was miffed by that phrase. Whenever the line has been delivered to me, it’s been in conjunction with ‘a woman that’s beautiful/intelligent/into gaming/into comics is so rare, your husband is so lucky’. This intended compliment not only glorifies me (ick), but alludes that these characteristics can only be appreciated by my significant other. Hey, you can appreciate my being a fan of comics and gaming, and my smarts, and my looks without being married to me. The only things my husband ever had that I don’t offer everyone else was sex and unwavering devotion. So it leads me to believe that when I’m given this ‘compliment’, it’s just masquerading as wishing you could have sex with me, which I don’t perceive as a compliment. At all.
Clearly a relationship is based on more than just comics, games, beauty, and smarts. Please stop simplifying me and the basis of marriage/a relationship.
Men, please stop saying someone’s husband/boyfriend is ‘so lucky’, and start appreciating the traits of a woman as a friend would.